life is okay. yesterday i took a ride with jay and ceaser up to danvers state hospital. we walked around the outside of the hospital. i have been before but it was kind of creepy yesterday. there were no construction workers, as it was sunday, and the birds were very mad that we were there.
i brought my camera but forgot to take it on the walk. i wish i had. we took a quick video as we drove out, which i will try to put up later, but i wish we had filmed the walk. it felt slightly "blair witch"
we didn't go down to the cemetery cuz it was muddy as shit and they both had on brand new white shoes, so i told them i'd take them another time if they wanted and they could wear old shoes or boots.
jay came with me to my parent's house for dinner last night. my mom made Shepard's pie. it was good. he stayed over last night and there was a major snowstorm last night, so he may not be back home till tomorrow. he's reading one of my college textbooks right now and reading out loud every other sentence cuz he is finding it so interesting. he's a good kid with such a major hunger for knowledge. it makes me so mad that the school system just threw him away the way they did... like they did to me and many of many of my friends.
moo (gizmo) says hello to everyone. she's mooing right now.
i had a really bad week last week. people have been giving me shit...mainly people i don't even know and for no reason at all. i'm trying to be understanding about why everyone in boston is in such a bad mood, especially the poor working man while boston is getting richer on one and and poorer on the other... and the working man who sees me in my nice car with my own apartment and no 9-5 job, they get really angry at me and act like dicks. i understand what they think when they look at me, but they don't know the whole story. they don't know that i have disabilities or that i have not always been in a privileged environment. they don't know a lot of things, but i don't feel i should have to tell them... but i also really hate when people look at me like a lazy white boy who could easily get a job if i just tried, cuz there's just so much more to it than that. they don't know the history or how every time i am employed i end up in tears the entire time i work and then end up in the psych ward.
i will work and make money some day. i am working now and i plan to make money from what i already do, it is just a matter of meeting the right connections in the artistic world, but with my severe anxiety and fear of crowds and people and all that, it is a slow process. so fuck all you haters.
plus my insurance stopped covering my anxiety meds which sucks and my obvous anxiety lately is probably part of the reason people have been giving me shit. they see me and think i look suspicious cuz that is how anxiety makes me look. grrrrrrr
anyway peace out everyone. more later