the hospital was helpful, but in a different way than i expected. it was a mostly positive experience. Pretty much everyone was nice. Even the kid/guy (25?) with the violent tendencies who I found in my room staring at me on the last night, was nice. I don't know what his issue was, but i must admit i was a bit freaked out to wake up at 3AM with a sense that there was someone in my room, to see that i was right, there was, and my door was closed and he was just standing there staring at me, and i had to get out of bed, walk past him in the dark and go to get the nurses/staff to bring him back to his room.
When i opened my bedroom door to where i could feel safe, i first asked the kid to leave my room nicely, but he just stood there, so i went to get a staff to come get him, but i knew he didn't even know he was in my room, so i didn't make an issue out of it.
I met a bunch of really wonderful people. I watched Knocked Up and Shot at Love with Tila Taquila.
I cried, i checked in with some people, i got into a better schedule with sleep and food, and i was reassured that i indeed want to stay out of hospitals. i am getting too old for that shit.
I actually made some real friends recently. It took a check in with the hospital for me to be able to see that these people are for real. They trust me. They want to work with me, not against me. I know there is no way to know 100% for sure except to give things a chance, but i think things are good. i'm tired, but i'm inspired.