djcliche (djcliche) wrote,

  • Music:

DBT and body image

i started DBT this week... dialectical behavioral therapy. i've done it in the past and it's one of the most helpful kinds of therapy there is for people with c-ptsd. much more than medicine or just talk therapy, although those can be helpful too. i have found my talk therapy and day program to be helpful, but the DBT is what i need.
this week it has already been helping me because i have to keep a diary card, and ever since i have been on these meds i got put on last summer, mostly all i do is veg out all day watching tv, smoking cigarettes, thinking and occasionally checking my facebook page. i do a little art here and there, but not enough, i listen to music which is also soothing, but it isn't much to report on the diary card, so the past 4 days i have been forcing myself to do a little more, like exercising and playing the guitar. it could just be a coincidence, but i do think it is the DBT, looking at the skills sheet and trying to force myself to actually use some of them. it would be nice if i could keep up the exercising. it isn't much, but even a little is more than i was doing before and i hate my body. i don't see it as being realistic to expect my body to change much for the better any time soon. i have been fat since i was 16 years old. stupid lithium made me gain 150 pounds or even possibly a bit more in a 2 year period. shitty thing to happen, especially at that age, and i have never been able to get it off. it's just too hard a task. i know some people can do it, but i can barely make it through the days, nevermind a task that big. but i figure it might be worth a try anyway. people are always telling me that exercise is good for the soul and the mind and i try to do things good for me in those respects. it's also good for the body obviously, and i am not very good to that because i feel a hate towards it. my body has only ever brought me problems, but it isn't fair for me to do that to myself. i should be forgiving toward my body and try to love it. i just really don't right now, but i might like to.

end of ramble
Tags: therapy

  • Writer's Block: I'll Never Forget This Birthday

    So it's 10pm on September 10th, 2001. I'm talking in my head to a random voice that i converse with sometimes. No one outside my head can hear. I…

  • celebrities

    wilson cruz is on the finder tonight. one of the few random celebrities i have met. it was many years ago, right around the time they'd just…

  • Writer's Block: First Amendment

    because FUCK you! no, that's not my real answer but i'm lazy and going to bed

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.