djcliche (djcliche) wrote,

  • Music:

Writer's Block: I wanna be just like you

Was there ever a fictional character who you admired so much that you strived to be like him or her?

happy harry hard on/hard harry, known as mark hunter to his family and acquaintances is my favorite fictional character of all time, and yes, he has influenced me a lot. i use the internet to try to do what he did in the movie with his pirate radio station. when i was younger, i actually tried to make a pirate radio station from scratch, but failed.

hard harry played a soundtrack to go along with what he was doing for his community. he inspired the struggling youth of his town to take action against the system that they were born into, and that doesn't really care about them, and often used and exploited them to benefit their own needs and wants.

i too have been used and abused by this system since i entered into it in kindergarten and have managed to get stuck in and eaten up by, as a result of how it failed me early on. i try to write about my personal experience, share stories of others it has happened to with news reports and also the music in pop culture and underground pop culture that tells a similar story of many great artists. because the system always fails the individuals first. the more unique you are, the greater chance you have of being lost in the system, and if it happens early on and they lose you and you lose your way, you are in more danger of being trapped in it even longer between the mental health system, full of survivors of trauma, much of it often caused or made worse by the system in the first place. then there is the correctional system of law and order which people get stuck in as well, especially if the system has had to spend extra time and money on the people stuck in it, they seem to take that out on people stuck in the system so there is no chance of getting out. the system brainwashes the majority of us stuck in it. people who were going through hell at a young age and just wanted to escape it all, to find themselves stucker than ever.

as to this point in my life, i am 32 years old and am mainly in the mental health system, the government public health system, although a few years ago i was arrested for resisting arrest (and no other known reason) which seemed like an effort on the system's part just to get my prints and a picture of me in a police station saying i'd been arrested, so maybe some day they can ruin my life some more i'm sure... see i don't have much faith in getting out. i think i am a lifer, so all i can do is my best to share my experience of the way it works. most people aren't paying much attention to what i have to say, but the few that are, it seems to worry the system just the same.... to have people paying attention to me and my story is not what they want, and they have made a recent effort to get me deemed crazy, so that i won't be taken seriously... and unfortunately i have gone a bit crazy in the process, but not the way the system says i have. i have no control over what the system says about me, and they usually have the last word, but it won't stop me from sharing my experience, as crazy as it may sound or as pointless as it may be to do so.

i should mention that the system has acted in my favor on a few occasions, but only because i am smart and likable and know how to advocate for myself. i worry that my hopelessness of being stuck in the system forever has started to deteriorate me and i have lost some of what has gotten me the help in the past. that i am starting to be pinned as a hopeless case, and therefore treated as such, which only makes things even harder. i hope i can keep up my hope in this crippling system.


ps. here is a video of an amazing song that goes well with what i am talking about, and what the movie was about. the video shows scenes from the movie too.

leonard cohen- everybody knows

Tags: pump up the volume, writer's block

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