do not mistake the above statement with me thinking i am a pathetic fat loser. i am fat, yes, that is an actual fact, but i am not pathetic or a loser. however, i am grateful to the universe for it's reminder. i am grateful that i am so in tune with the universe that i trust my gut and go with what i feel without over thinking it anymore.
on my way to the mall i noticed that i was covered in cat hair and i thought for a second "i can't go to the mall covered in cat hair" but my gut (and my stomach) said it wanted Master Wok. so i said, fuck the cat hair, and i went to the mall.
as soon as i walked in the mall, i knew i was out of place. there are all kinds of people who go to the mall, and i am the kind who doesn't. so naturally, i was out of place. it is big and crowded and suburban/middle/upper class and everyone has bags full of shit they just bought and i just feel like i am on another planet all together. i've visited before, but i don't know the locals... ya know?
a few years ago, a trip like that to the mall might cause me to go over the edge into self destruction, but today it was exactly what i needed. it provided me some balance.
i know i am not a pathetic loser, but i needed to be reminded that most people still think i am. humility is a beautiful thing. peace.