djcliche (djcliche) wrote,

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I'm Still Just Trying To Live

i say the same things
over and over
i'm 30 years old
and i keep getting older.
at 27 i almost died
of a 27 club artist suicide.
a bottle of pills
for a bottle of problems
with no hope anywhere in my view
my life was a 9 month old moldy beef stew;
forgotten in the back of the fridge
wondering what that nasty smell is.
i was dead already
no good to the world
1/2 way a man, but still just a girl
but unlike beef stew
i was brought back to life
i picked myself up
and let go of the knife
my words and my art
became a weapon and a shield
holding onto both strong,
i started to heal.
still a long way to go
still smoking that dro
still learning the ropes
and i still miss my bro.
but i am here now
in this world of contradictions
with so many lies told
you can't tell truth from fiction.
and when the truth comes my way
it's still shades of grey
and i pray and i pray
but my mind's been molded like clay
and breaking the pot
means putting you on the spot
and since you will not have that
please leave me to my natural habitat.
give me time to turn my life around.
you think you know me
but you don't know shit.
try to bring me down
and i will spit in your face like a clown
and pound you to the ground like i just found
a drum kit. ya get?
Tags: anger, death, gender, life, meds, poem, poetry, ptsd, suicide, the 27 club, truth, weed

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