March 23rd, 2010

u will live in a teacup

my brain

ever since i was a kid i knew my brain worked differently than others. just the mere fact alone that no one ever discussed how their brains worked was a sign of this. i knew if their brains worked like mine, they would definitely discuss their thought process and often. it was far too fascinating a topic to go unmentioned the way it did.
u will live in a teacup

the power in believing in yourself

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Alice (in wonderland)

a quick impossible story from my childhood...
when i was about 6 years old, there was a makeshift fence between our house and the one next door. the wood was about as thick and maybe even less sturdy than the wood on an average ruler. it was longer of course, as it was a fence, about 5 feet high. i used to watch squirrels run across it and i decided i wanted to walk across it too, like a squirrel. however, i weighed about 50 pounds, much more than a squirrel, yet i didn't know anything about laws of gravity and shit like that. i figured if a squirrel could do it, so could i. and i climbed the tree right beside the fence and i got on the fence and i walked straight across it. according to the rules we accept as reality, i should not have been able to do that. the fence would have broken. but i didn't know all that so there was no doubt. i believed 100% that i could cross the fence and i did. i told my mother afterwords and she called me a liar. and i didn't understand why. like the time she called me a liar when i told her about how a robin flew out of a tree and into my hand. i wasn't lying and i was really hurt she thought i was, but i can at least understand why she would have assumed that back then. unfortunately, after i told my mother and she explained to me that it was "not possible", i was never able to do it again because i had doubt in my mind from then on. the doubt made the impossible impossible. still, i do believe the impossible IS possible. but for the most part i try not to share the impossible things i believe in anymore, because i know most people will call it crazy and i might start to doubt what i know to be true. and that doubt stunted my abilities for over 20 years and i'm not looking to get it back. i'm trying to reverse the damage.