August 10th, 2009

me with graffiti

(no subject)

i had a dream about an old friend of mine just now. i just woke up from the dream. we were in the psych ward together, and it was also a train or a plane. in real life, we have both been in psych wards, but not together. and in the dream, like real life, i had not seen her since i was like 20 years old... before transition. i was walking down the isle of the train/plane/psych ward, and she grabbed me into her seat and hugged me. she said my name and i said "how did you know it was me?" and she looked up and had a long grey beard of her own. she rubbed her beard and said to me "this knows".
we hugged eachother for a bit, but a staff person came (and it was an actual staff person i once knew, from a hospital i went to about 50 times) and she made me go back to my seat.

my dream made me feel things though and see things. it was pretty interesting.

also, on another note, i am supposed to visit Walden Pond this week hopefully with a friend. i have never been, but always wanted to go... however, unlike most people, my interest in Walden Pond is not because i am a fan of Thorou. It is more because the hospital i spent the most time of my life at is just down the street from it, and the hospital i spent the second most amount of time at was named after it.

i have been thinking about the hospital a lot lately. it has been a year now since i have been in one. sometimes i miss having that safe place to help me through stressful times, but the hospital is no longer a safe place for me. in fact, it is extremely dangerous. i am better off without it now, and i am stronger for it anyway... but i do miss the good nurses and staff people, and the frequent fliers and being connected to people in a way that a lot of people never experience.

i was actually supposed to go to Walden today, but i heard on the news it was supposed to rain and thunder and lightning all day... however it is sunny and no clouds in the sky at all, and extremely hot, so i wish i had not canceled the plans. oh well.
word up baby

Writer's Block: Memo to Myself

If you could travel back in time, what advice would you give to your younger self?


i would probably tell myself not to start drinking at age 12, not to become a 12 year old prostitute and not to marry someone you meet in the psych ward... but some of those things were actually advised to me and i didn't listen, so i doubt i would have listened to myself either. some things you just have to learn the hard way.
redblue blunt

famous look alikes

i was just watching an episode of Californication and realized that the daughter, Becca Moody, looks like a mini version of Abby from NCIS

Becca Moody played by Madeleine Martin




Abby Sciuto played by Pauley Perrette

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