djcliche (djcliche) wrote,
djcliche
djcliche

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Punk Ass

i've been a total punk this week.

i have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from childhood and especially one thing that happened when i was twelve, but i just went through a shitload of extra trauma recently, and i realized i am not in "post trauma" with those things. I am still traumatized, which makes things very complicated. I know i need to let myself feel all the suckiness, but i'm afraid it'll all come at once and that i won't be able to take that stress, so insted the process is a bit slowed down. i feel every now and then... i feel now, but i just want to be numb. Yet i know i can't heal when i'm numb.
I'm trying to socialize but i'm not sure that's going too well. I'm not me right now. I haven't felt like me in months to be honest and probably longer than that but i didn't even realize it at first.
I dunno. I'm sure i'll come back. Maybe i'm just not ready yet. I'm just frustrated. I know there's more i can be doing, but my fears and feelings just get in the way.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 8 comments