Yesterday i went to my program, then afterwards i went and had a cigar with an old friend. Then i went to watch the sun set and there were lots of people there, and i overheard that they were waiting for fireworks, so i stayed and waited to watch the fireworks as well. It was nice. A good firework show and lots of happy little kids with glow sticks running around.
The day before yesterday i saw another friend. She made us corn on the cob, told a couple funny jokes and we went in her backyard and chopped wood. it was fun.
My program is going well. In expressive therapy we drew t-shirts that expressed ourselves. I drew a camoflage t-shirt with a symbol for man and woman on it, and on the back i wrote HERO and Survivor. It made me feel good to write nice things about myself, even if sometimes i have a hard time believing them. I'm starting to believe in myself again.
Today i took a drive through Boston to get to my parent's house, where i am now. I will probably drive back through Boston again. It is such a beautiful drive by the river. I made a mix CD this morning to listen to on the drive. Lots of songs i can sing along to. Singing is good for the soul. So is dancing, but i do that quite a bit less. I do play the guitar or the harmonica almost every day, even if just for a minute. I don't actually know how to play, but i mess around with it and i like it.
I got a card from my sister Nikki today for my birthday. It was nice. We are slowly trying to mend a long period where we were not close. I really love both my sisters. They are strong, talented women.
Life is still a bit crazy, but i have been working on being assertive in order to get my needs met. Sometimes people have to be disapointed. I don't like to disapoint people, but if i let people walk all over me i will never be happy. I still get a bit awkward when it comes to setting limits, but i'm getting better at it. I was seeing a therapist for a couple weeks, but i stopped seeing her for personal reasons. I want a therapist, but now just might not be the right time. The day program is helpful though. I like being able to interact with people that understand where i'm coming from. i like that we are peers there... not me vs a professional.
so things are good. i'll be checking in on LJ when i can. Hopefully i'll get my computer fixed soon.