i should just wait until i get th meeting with mass rehab. they can help me find a job, but it may not be for a few months by th time i get something going with them. it's a lengthy process. Beh.
so i am still just doing a day at a time with my life. things are going pretty slowly. i can't figure out how to deal with my boredom sometimes. My meds are sucking. i have to talk to my doctor about them. I can't really feel on them. or think. But i can't just stop them either. Ahh, fun fun.
i am going to go grocery shopping in a bit. maybe get some new canvas too.
Life is slow but i feel anxious and just want to curl up in a ball and be all wrapped up in a blanket holding onto a teddy bear.
also, smoking too much. i really hate that. i have to meditate to keep my mind off putting things in my mouth, but i got some new chewing sticks to hopefully help.
Oh life. oh. oh. I don't know.