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Beautiful Boston

i caused a lot of chaos when i was sick.
i am very sorry. i was very scared. i let evil in. 

Boston is a beautiful city. I am proud of it. It is full of beautiful heroes.
All of it's sourounding cities and towns and commonwealths are nice as well.
I wish i could be from everywhere around there. It is always so nice to take in the beauty.
I have lived in Reading, Arlington, Danvers, Stoneham and counting hospitals and programs Wakefeild, Melrose, Waltham, Concord, Everett, Belmont, JP, Winchester, Somerville, Cambridge and Brookline.
I have had friends and family from Revere, Andover, Boston, Acton, Groten, Lexington, Medford, Malden, Abington, Peabody, Salem, etc.
Western Massachusetts is beautiful. The beaches are beautiful, Cape Cod and Cape Ann. I really love it. We have an amazing music scene, amazing history, etc.

I am really looking forward to when instantkarmma and grx visit.
that will be nice. i can show them around all the wonderful places. And i can discover even more.
I always refer to where i am from as Boston even though i havent really lived in Boston. Not many people actually live in Boston, but it is a small state, and it's normal to claim Boston as home when we live so near it. Reading is my home. It is not a bad town. It is really a unique and special place. I just did a lot of bad things when i was there, and it always was like a guilt place for me, but really i lov it. There are a lot of great people from there.

Tonight i got locked out of my apartment, but i enjoyed most of my waiting time with my neighbor Rob. He is a really nice guy. I think when i hung out with him the first time, i got so scared, cuz he seemed like such a nice stable guy who wanted to know me. I am not used to stable people wanting to be my friend. I mean, i guess i should be, but in fear i always seem to push the most stable people i know away. That has been my personal war and i caused some issues at my apartment when i got scared about making a friend. That was actually one of my triggers, having him over when i didnt think i deserved a real friend. When i thought i was at war, i put a bass guitar in the window, along with all that stuff i was afraid of concerning the mafia and all that other crazy bullshit i was on.

I cant believe how crazy i was, thinking that it was all connected, when the only thing that truely connects them is me. I feel like such a fool. I humiliated myself, but humility is a sign that i am getting better.



( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:12 am (UTC)
So happy to read your progress and you sound like you are on the right track at last. Yes, negativity or positivity come from within as the saying "we are what we think about all day long" comes from. I can't remember who wrote it, must see if I can look it up. I know I have been living by it for a long time now .. *hugs* you.
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
thank you
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:34 am (UTC)
i've lived in:
west roxbury
(in the summer) cape cod

i guess i've visited, gone to school, or at least briefly been in pretty much every other town/city in this state (with the exception of the islands).
i truly love MA. i even tattooed the state on my arm.

this place is home to me.
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
yeah, me too. too bad i didnt see that sooner, but now is better than never
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
i'd like to see the tattoo some time. if you have pictures...(:
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:56 am (UTC)
Glad you're doing better, man. If/when I'm ever back in Mass., I'll try to meet you and say hey.
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
thank you
Jun. 28th, 2008 08:31 am (UTC)
Darling, don't feel foolish.

and when we visit I totally want to see your place even if we're not staying there!
Jun. 28th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
thank you
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )


me with graffiti

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