djcliche (djcliche) wrote,
djcliche
djcliche

Truth, Lies and Pure Paranoia

are these thiongs i am writing true?
or are they my paranoid delusions?

maybe a combination of both...
however, when i repeat something that sounds paranoid over and over, it is truth. (in my opinion)

i am trying to trigger people.... not my friends and i'm sorry if i have triggered any of you.

Trigger is a McLean word. It is a scary word, TRIGGER, but they use it on the PTSD wards at McLean where it was invented. The people i know with PTSD hate the word trigger. They know it's a scary word and yet it is now a word used all over the world to describe a feeling that we get.

For those unfamiliar with the pschological version of the word, a TRIGGER is an event or something someone says, that scares a person because it reminds them of something that was traumatising to them in their past.

People with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) have either witnessed or been a victim of a violent event. Since so many violen events involve guns in this world, TRIGGER is a perfect word to scare someone. Pull the trigger. pow pow.

I am not trying to scare my friends. I am however trying to scare the people who scared me my whole life, and although i COULD just be paranoid, i have good reason to suspect that m triggers have scared a lot of people who i was trying to scare, because it still FEELS like people are following me and staring at me and trying to scare me. The thing is, i'm not scared, so the more not scared i am, the more scared they will be. Thill either have to leave me alone or kill me. But if they kill me, their secrets are out and these posts on the internet will be discovered or looked back on. If i end up dead. Someone will figure it out...

Of course, i also have been fighting computer viruses that seemed to knock down all of my blogging sites. If these posts don't show up on the net, then i believe someone has hacked in to purposely try to have them not get seen.

Either way, as crazy as i MAY be, i am winning. The perpetrators are scared and they should be. Call me crazy--- i dont give a shit. That's their problem.

I believe thy are trying to trigger my family, friends and neighbors as well. Unfortnately, my family, friends and neighbors (for the most part) do not read my blog. i know that i have internet friends, although i do know that some of my supposed friends are spies. Until it is exposed as to who is who, i will stop assuming who is who, because assumptions like that only help their side.

So, peace from crazy Jymi... formerly known as Keri, who by the way thought he heard someone outside the apatment yell "GOODBYE KERI" in the window today.
My mother heard someone yell but did not hear what i heard, so now she thinks i am hearing things, but i heard it right after i wrote the entry about the gang rape... which no one commented on. Will anyone coment on this? If not i will have to have my computer looked at by professionals. My dad tried to help put a virus protection on here for me, but its still sick. Maybe the bad people are hoping i will think my dad is trying to hack me. Triggers have lead me to that kind of paranoia before, but for now, i am hoping to kep my parents in the dark as far as all my suspition of others goes, cuz the more i talk to them, the more crazy i sound.

Someone(s) needs to comment on this or else i am going to send my computer to the police. Just say hi. that'll be good enough.
My REAL friends need to comment though. Just send me a virtual hug or hello. Even if you think i am crazy. Otherwise i'll just have to believ that 1. i'm crazy or 2. i'm hacked

Am i crazy? I believe we are all a little crazy. But this is just life. Or is it?
Tags: crazy, ptsd, trigger
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