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Am i Racist?

this is a complicated question.
I was born and raised in Reading, Massachusetts in the US.

This was a town that was almost all white.
We had black people from Boston shipped to our schools every day so that they could get a better education.
As middle school came around and i was a sexy 11, 12, 13 year old girl. All the black boys wanted me and all the black girls hated me. I even got beat up on the last day of school in 8th grade by a girl who had stolen my mother's diamond ring that i wore to school one day.

BUT, instead of automatically hating black girls or black people, i was just confused as to why they hated ME so much. I was tortured daily in my public schools. More so by white people than by black or other minorities. I was tortured so much that i actually dropped out of school, was hospitalized at McLean mental hospital for a month, then at a respite for youth, where i was the only white person. Then i went to a very diverse school in Coolige Corner, Brookline (the Orthadox Jewish section of Boston). My school celebrated diversity every day. That was one of the main focuses of the school. It was a small school. 44 kids in total, who were all very smart kids with emotional issues, authority issues and/or minor learning disabilities. There was a zero violence tolerance policy. If you slapped someone at school you were expelled, no questions asked. But my school was full of minorities of all sorts, racial, sexual identity/orientation, immigrants, mental health, eating disorders. One thing we all had in common (mostly) was our love of learning and our desire to accept one another.
That school had some amazing teachers who taught us in ways that were not boring to us like in public school. I didn't do all that well on my SAT's, but i learned much more at Beacon High (formerly known as New Perspectives School) than i ever did in the Reading Public School system. The most important things i learned were 1. that i was SMART (because the Reading school system had me convinced of the exact opposite) and 2. to be open minded and accepting.
I learned a lot of other things as well there, but before that, my life was going down the wrong path. Had i stayed at RMHS, i may have very well turned into a hateful racist. Instead, Beacon High School helped to keep me a good, loving, curious person.

Boston is a racist city. Like, how i mentioned that Brookline is where the Jewish people are at, we also have the North End for the Italians, Southie for the Irish, Dorchester/Roxbury/Mattapan for the black people, Chinatown for the Asian people, Beacon Hill for the rich white people, etc...

Somerville, where i had been spending most of my time before i starting shouting HELP everywhere i went (because of the feeling of being chased) is a very very diverse city. Somerville is the most diverse part of Boston, although it's not technically Boston, nor is Brookline. They both border Boston and are both cities. The Ville, as it is called by it's diverse residents, is a wonderful place. It is my favorite part of Boston. It is also where there is a really great, deep and smart hip hop scene. It is also where i was pulled over for nothing, and where i was arrested a few weeks ago for having my music on too loud and failure to immidiately ID myself... and it is where a lot of my friends, both new and old live.

There are a lot of gangs in The Ville lately and while i was hanging out there recently, i was trying to make a hip hop movie with some local kids about the gangs and the diversity... trying to get to the root of it all. But life got crazy. The kids houses were being robbed, their families and friends were dying and/or going to jail for minor offenses or being locked up in psych wards. The film never happened.

Right now, the kids are mad at me because they looked up to me and i have let them down by going "crazy". I have decided to let them go for now. If the time is right, i may see them again, but while i am wanted by the Haters and makers of society who own fear, i think those kids are better off being mad at me. Most of them were black kids. I don't know what they think of me, what they are being told about me, etc. But they were good kids. I assume they still are if they are still alive, but there is a gang war in Boston, and they are all FORMER mini gang members. They were in gangs when they were like 12-15 years old. The reason they hung out with me so much was to get them out of the front lines, cuz they were all very smart kids who didn't want gang life anymore. I don't know where they're at now, so if you don't mind praying for them, i would appriciate all the good thoughts going their way. They could use it. In my opinion, those kids are all heroes.

Now, one last thing... i don't hate all white people... okay? i am a white person. There are good white people. There are even a few good rich white people... but when i say i hate "white power" i mean that i hate the white people who have enough power to make racial minorities do their dirty work. Black on black crime was CAUSED by lies told and displayed on TV by white people in power. The race war in general is caused by white people's lies. So be careful what you believe right now. We are at war and the white power liars are unfortunately winning.

Thank you for hearing my shpeil.


Jun. 5th, 2008 08:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks about the pic.

The best thing is the acceptance of reality. Here's some reality. Over half of the people on death row are black, however blacks only make up 12.2% of the US population.

Either justice hates blacks (OMG THAT'S RACIST) or blacks have a high percentage of criminals than most other races (OMG THAT'S RACIST TOO). It ain't racist if you're only pointing out facts!
Jun. 5th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
justice does hate black people, and there are a lot of black criminals because there are a lot of poor black people, and when you are starving, you will do anything you have to... but there are more white criminals than black ones, cuz there are more white people and many of us are poor too, therefore in the same boat, but black people are put in jail for anything and white people get off more easily
Jun. 6th, 2008 05:19 am (UTC)
Let me put this out first: I don't want this to turn into some huge internet argument, lol.

I don't think it has to do with hunger. You don't kill someone for food. You don't kill someone because they cheated you out of drugs because of hunger. You don't rape someone because of hunger.

I'm gonna copy-paste this, because I'm lazy and pretty fucking high right now, lol.

"The contrasts are even more stark in the case of interracial rape. Studies from the late 1950s showed that the vast majority of rapes were same-race offenses. Research in Philadelphia carried out in 1958 and 1960 indicated that of all rapes, only 3.2 percent were black-on-white assaults and 3.6 percent were white-on-black. Since that time, the proportion of black-on-white rapes has soared. In a 1974 study in Denver, 40 percent of all rapes were of whites by blacks, and not one case of white-on-black rape was found. In general, through the 1970s, black-on-white rape was at least ten times more common that white-on-black rape. [1]

Because interracial rape is now overwhelmingly black on white, it has become difficult to do research on it or to find relevant statistics. The FBI keeps very detailed national records on crime, but the way it presents rape data obscures the racial element rather than clarifies it. Dr. William Wilbanks, a criminologist at Florida International University, had to sift carefully through the data to find that in 1988 there were 9,406 cases of black-on-white rape and fewer than ten cases of white-on-black rape. [320] Another researcher concludes that in 1989, blacks were three or four times more likely to commit rape than whites, and that black men raped white women thirty times as often as white men raped black women.[2]

Interracial crime figures are even worse than they sound. Since there are more than six times as many whites as blacks in America, it means that any given black person is vastly more likely to commit a crime against a white than vice versa. "

[1] Gary D. LaFree, "Male Power and Female Victimization: Toward a Theory of Interracial Rape," American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 88, No. 2 (September 1982).

[2] Andrew Hacker, Two Nations, pp. 183, 185

And we're just talking about inter-racial RAPE. Not theft, drugs, murder, etc. RAPE. You can't gain anything except fulfilling your own sick, twisted pleasure by raping someone. Catch my drift?
Jun. 6th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
i get what you're saying i think.
i've been raped a bunch of times. like, 4 times at least, and since twice were gang rapes, it adds up to a lot... but both gangs were all white. i have in fact, never been rapoed by a black person, but at least 25 white people have raped me.
rape is a terrible crime. sometimes i think worse than murder. it takes your soul away and leaves a shell... but then again, if i were murdered i wouldnt be around. and although it took almost 20 years, i got my soul back.


me with graffiti

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