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CHAPTER 9- WHY DID YOU DO IT?

The night after my overdose, my parents took me out to Chilli's for dinner. My favorite food is Mexican and in 1992 Chilli's was the only Mexican chain my parents really knew about.
"Why would you do that? "they asked me
"My braces hurt" i lied
"Why do you have to lie about everything"
"i'm not lying" i lied again
"What is so wrong with your life? We give you everything"
"It's not ABOUT you" i said truthfully this time
"yes it is" my father said "you're trying to punish us"
"no i'm not. i told you, my teeth hurt"
"So you took 23 tylonol?" my mother said angrily
"YEAH"
"this is bullshit" said my dad "absolute bullshit"
"Why do you want to die? Did papa touch you?" my mom asked
"DID PAPA TOUCH ME??? How could you ever ask that right after he died. No he didn't touch me. You're sick"
"I'm sorry" said my mom "i just cant figure out why you would nearly kill yourself cuz i know its not about the braces"
"FINE" i said "you're right. Its not about the braces."
"SO YOU LIED TO US AGAIN?" my dad repeated
"No, i'm not lying, i just dont wanna talk about it"
"Oh yeah, you can talk about it to Miss K and Molly's parents and Miss Gushue, but you can't talk to us?" asked my mom
"THATS RIGHT" i said
"i cant believe you are doing this to us" said my dad
"i'm not doing anything TO YOU!"
"yes you are, you're trying to punish us"
"WHY WOULD I TRY TO PUNISH YOU"
"keep your voice down!"
"No"
"i can't do this" my mom said and walked outside to have a cigarette
"I can't even look at you" my father said
"FINE. DONT" i said
"you're upsetting your mother"
"i'm upsetting you both"
"So you ARE trying to hurt us"
"NO. FUCK. NO"
"Dont use that language with me"
"why? you use it with me"

the rest of dinner was silent. My dad payed the bill and we walked out to meet my stressed mother
"We're locking up the tylonol" my dad said as we got in the car
"Good. Go ahead. It's not like i cant get tylonol somewhere else"
"You want us to lock you up in a hospital?" my dad threatened
"yeah, i do." i said
"This is unbelievable. Un FUCKING believable"

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
coriander
May. 27th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
While I wasn't there, I can sort of see your point of view, and also your parents. They were supposed to protect you. And you also were trying to protect them and yourself from telling them things. And it just goes in circles until you're so wound up in secrets and lies and overwhelming things that you crash.
mrshannibal
Jun. 1st, 2008 03:04 am (UTC)
This is unbelievable. Un FUCKING believable

you said it right there.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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