newborn baby enters the world in fear.
It's a birl!
she has slight jaundice,
we'll bring her right back.
this is normal.
(no one will know the difference.)
Welcome to the world.
Dr. Dowd delivered you and his wife will be your pediatrition until you are too old to even be seeing a pediatrition....
welcome to the world, freak-
Can i ask you something Mama?
you don't have to be afraid
well, why don't i have a penis like daddy?
Because you are a girl, like me.
but i don't have boobs like you.
Well, you are only four.
four and a half
Ok, four and a half.
why don't i have a penis?
Only boys have penises and you are a girl.
There is no why. You just are.
well, why do i have to play with the girls at school?
Don't you want friends?
i already have boy friends. why can't i just play with them at school?
Because your teacher, as well as your father and i, think you need to learn how to act like a young lady.
Because it is not okay for a little girl to gross out other little girls by eating worms, and i is certainly not okay for you to throw sand in a girls eyes! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
BECAUSE SHE SAID I COULDN'T PLAY WITH THEM! AND I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM! I WANT TO PLAY WITH MARK AND MATT AND PATRICK!!!!!
Go to your room!
For yelling at me like that! GO NOW!
i hate you
But i didn't really hate her. I hated her for leaving me at a time of need. She was pregnant with my sister Lisa, and when i was 2 1/2, my mom went into labor and left me to the care of my Godmother for a day or so... i don't remember how long it was, but it was the beginning of my war. Auntie Sue was supposed to potty train me and teach me how to be a good older sister and strong for my family. She took me to Connetucut. When i arrived there, it was as if an army had arrived just for me. There were tons of other little girls and boys my age. Many of them were poor, minorities and none of us really understood why we were there.
Auntie Sue said we were going to see the GodParents.
"I thought you were my Godmother, Auntie Sue", i said
YES, but these are THE GODPARENTS. They will teach you how to be a princess.
A PRINCESS? wow. That sounded cool.... until Princess Army train ing begain.
The Godmother, Employed by the Catholic church, was to teach all of the young ladies how to be young ladies, how to please men and how to torture them if need be.
We were being potty trained at the same time. The Godmother, like in paintings throughout history, was a naked woman, who let us climb all over her and touch her and know what boobs and vaginas were all about. I was a beautiful little "girl" and the Godmother told me she thought i would be a princess some day. I began to love the Godmother. My own mother was away, and she was the closest thing i had. She held me, more than the other girls and she told me she would teach me to be a princess like her.
I was not sure i really wanted to be like her, because although she was so overly loving to me, she was very very mean to the other little girls. She told them that they only wished that they could be as great as me. She laughed at them and humiliated them. All the other girls grew to hate me as well.
The Godmother sang us nursery rhymes all day, brainwashing us, while giving us all training on how to be propper young ladies.
There was a problem that arrised early for me, and that was that i didn't want to be trained to be a young lady, i wanted to go home and see my new sister, or at least be able to play with my friends the way we used to. There was nothing playful about this camp in Connetucut. We were not allowed to step out of line. If we were, we were beaten. The Godmother said that i would be beaten a lot less if i could learn to be like her and beat the other girls. She showed me a gold diamond ring... the one my Godmother gave me at birth. "This is your princess ring" she said. "If you want to be princess and win this ring and go home and see your family, you need to do what i tell you to do."
So i listened. I screamed at alkl the other little girls. Most of them were black girls. The Godmother called us "blackies" and "whities". Most of the girls i tortured into going home were "blackies." I had to torture them worst. They were told that they would never be any good, and that the only good man out there for them, the PRINCE, was going to marry me.
NEXT CHAPTER- mixing with the boys camp....