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national coming out day

i shared this on facebook today...

today is national coming out day. i have nothing much to say that you don't already know, but i am transgender. i often consider my gender and sex to be neither, both or all 3. i was born intersex and came out as a lesbian around age 15, but knew since i was little that i was attracted to women. i have been with men, but i have learned that is not what i am looking for sexually, although i find re...lationships with men easier than with women, but i am still looking for the right woman. someone between the ages of 26 and 50 approximately, who accepts me as is. i am not actively seeking this woman. i do get lonely but would rather be single than be in another relationship with someone who is all wrong for me. also i have a hard time answering whether i am gay or straight. being intersex, i don't see myself as being either, but i'm not really bi either

later i wrote...

i feel weird about my coming out status. i don't know if it was "user friendly". people can barely wrap their minds around me being trans sometimes, never mind my gender fluidity and whatever, but i dunno. it is what it is. i do live as male. i feel more male than female, but i feel more like something else altogether. also, my gender and sexuality is really only a small piece of who i am, what i identify as most is a survivor, an artist and a warrior.

and then i added

it is easy for me to be out on national coming out day or any other day for that matter because i have been out for such a long time, and while being out of course has it's challenges, i am so grateful that i am not holding on to such a huge secret. i know from a life of being out that it is something i can handle. it isn't scary to me. it's my normal, but i think of my friends who stay in the closet cuz of fear or whatever other reasons. knowing what my closeted friends go through with the self hate and the lying and double lives, i am so grateful to just be totally out

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
jacq22
Oct. 12th, 2011 10:53 am (UTC)
You are living life the way you want, no secrets and now I would love you to complete it by meeting someone kind, fun, and right for you, that would make it perfect.

Well done for having the courage to live life your way.
djcliche
Oct. 13th, 2011 12:00 am (UTC)
thank you. i do hope to meet someone. that would be very nice, but i am still in no rush. i think i will know her when i meet her... i hope anyway
explanationzz
Oct. 13th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC)
Coming out is definitely not easy, but I applaud you for standing tall. You did what you had to do to make yourself happy and to feel complete. I am very proud of you! :) Who really cares if your posts weren't "user friendly"? You are who you are, be proud :D
djcliche
Oct. 14th, 2011 01:36 am (UTC)
thanks, not that this is the 1st i've ever come out. i've been out forever, but yeah, as far as it being user friendly, what i meant was basically that a big part of why i come out every year on national coming out day (especially in the years of facebook where practically everyone in your life is on 1 page) is to keep visible and possibly educate, but more so just make people aware that we exist and what we go through, and while most of my internet friends are pretty educated when it comes to lgbtq stuff, the ones who know very little are going to be easily confused by much of what i said in the 21st update. their minds have never really opened that far yet. but i kept the status up, because it was still real to me, i just tried to simplify it for the 2nd post. it's just that some people in my life are still getting used to the way i look now, the new name and pronouns, and it is weird enough for them to "get" that i live as a man now. i dunno what i'm saying exactly, i guess just that when you try to educate people, it is best not to use language they can't understand.
ely_m
Oct. 13th, 2011 08:13 am (UTC)
what is your facebook?

you can private message me here your facebook.

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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