?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

veterans day poem

i love america
i love the rest of the world too.
i fight for those who do not benefit from war
and statistics suggest that's you.
i fight for freedom-
real freedom and equality for all,
i fight for the small.
i am grateful
for all the little gifts in life.
i fight with my mind
i fight for our rights.
i love america
enough to question it's leadership,
enough to point out the hypocrisy
and that we are not a true democracy.
i fight for the ability to think for myself,
for the right to be respected
even without wealth.
for the modern day slave
for the right to be gay
for the immigrants of yesterday and today.
i fight for the hope that someday
the wealthiest 1% of the world
will not profit off the misery
of the other 99%.
i fight for the right to vent.
i fight for innocent people who are locked away,
i fight for the understanding
that most matters are grey.
i fight for the school system
to teach opposing points of view.
i fight for the youth.
i fight for the ability
to recognize that i am not always right
but that knowledge is power
and we can learn from eachother
in the hope that we will someday
uncover the truth.
i fight so that our souls can be set free
and someday we will all know peace.

Tags:

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
far_east_coast
Nov. 12th, 2009 12:24 pm (UTC)
*double repeated finger snaps in a very Beat way.

"oh yeah maaaaaan, lay that trip on me,
your words so put me RiiiiighT There!"

Great art, image, rhythm.

Free verse is okay,
but it is so much nicer
for the reader
and heavier on the impact
if there is some stanza form.

Properly spaced line and stanza
would make the poignant imagery
even stronger than it already is.

Sorry if I went all
English teacher on you but
That is what I am,
Afterall.
djcliche
Nov. 12th, 2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
thanks. i'm glad you liked it. i will take your advice into consideration if i decide to make a spoken word video from the poem, which i probably will. it is easier for me to write free verse. it flows from my pen better, but when speaking it aloud, structure is helpful and i suspect it is for the reader as well. there are definitely some points in the poem where i feel like the flow is lost, but i was getting frustrated with it. so thank you for the input and for reading it. peace, jymi
far_east_coast
Nov. 13th, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)
when I write poetry it almost always initially comes out as free verse.

then, through a long and frustrating editing process, I eventually turn it into some sort of form. Not always traditional form, but at least a form I define for the piece, and then make sure i follow it. eg. each stanza must have 5 lines. the last line is only 3 syllables(not a good example though.)

whenever i find points where the flow is lost, i look at the physical structure of the piece. Often i find the lost flow is fixed up by a line break, stanza break, meter change, rhythm/rhyme/pun play of whatever.

I like anal-eyesing and editing good poetry in progress.
I miss doing it more.

Thanks for lettin' me do a full on poetry nerd out!

djcliche
Nov. 13th, 2009 07:26 am (UTC)
no problem. thank you too
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

me with graffiti
djcliche
djcliche

Latest Month

February 2012
S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
26272829   

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com